A Taste of ATH Part 2

schlock <schlock@leland.stanford.edu> writes:

>You can never watch too many Trek reruns. But, you can never watch ten
>times too many H:LOTS reruns. (If only there *were* ten times as many
>H:LOTS reruns.)

Just think of this nightmare scenario:

Despite the upswing in ratings this year, Homicide fails to make the cut at NBC is axed, leaving an archive of around 80 episodes. These episodes are ruthlessly syndicated on every TV station in America, making every child growing up watch each episode half a dozen times before puberty.

The cast become typecast. Andre Braugher is referred to as "Pembleton" everywhere he goes and can't get work. Melissa Leo and Kyle Secor do voiceovers on the Simpsons. Barry Levinson becomes revered as a god. Jean de Segonzac begins to appear on the cover of tabloids.

Conventions are organized; fans attend dressed in slick fedoras, oversized tams, dark glasses. Women fans will wear men's suits or Donna Karan. In between hoping to hear Jon Polito talk about "The Early Years" the fans will read newspapers and toss a football around. They will call themselves "Hommies" but when the name becomes a term of derision by non-fans, they will adamantly stomp their feet and demand to be called "Hommers."

After a decade and half of the franchise growing ever more valuable, a network will greenlight "Homicide: New Life on the Street" with an all new cast and much better visual effects. Initially poorly done, the new series will surpass the original in success except in the minds of a few diehards who will recite the dialog for "A Doll's Eyes" line-by-line to make a point. A now old and fat Clark Johnson will miraculously appear on an episode when the ratings slip as a cop who got wise and transferred to County. He will abuse the handsome current cast member investigating another cop by dropping obscure remarks about a "Jake Rodzinski" into the discussion. Ratings will soar and little by little, the other cast members will be lured onto the show in ever-weaker ways.

This cannot be. This _must_ not be. God's Mercy, this horrifying vision of the future can be easily avoided. Watch Homicide: Life on the Street, NBC Fridays.

Subject: Re: Semiotic Analysis ("symbols")
From: Dave Locke <davelocke@bigfoot.com>
Date: 1996/07/14
Newsgroups: alt.tv.homicide

On Jul 14, 1996 22:00:27 in article "Semiotic Analysis ("symbols"), 'tni@po-box.mcgill.ca (Tim Ni)' wrote:

>I'm doing a semiotic analysis of Homicide: LotS, for a summer course.
>However since I haven't seen all the episodes, I'm interested in
>suggestions, material, ideas, you have for my paper.
>
>Reply asap; via e-mail if possible.
>
>Thank you.
>
>Timothy Ni, tni@po-box.mcgill.ca
>Montreal, Canada
>"Courtney Love killed Asmodean"

Semiotic: "Pertaining to signs."

These are some of the signs I have seen on H:LotS:

"No parking"
"Baltimore Police Department"
"Track 9"
"No Smoking"
"Interstate 83"
"No Loitering, No Spitting"
"Clifton Park"
"Johns Hopkins Hospital"
"Druid Hill Park"
"Pimlico Race Course"
"Men"
"Women"

I hope this helps. I'm much better at math, really. Do you need someone to do your math homework for you?

Subject: Re: Each new show a special event?
From: CROSSD@SCORPION.AG.UIUC.EDU (David Cross)
Date: 1996/04/16
Newsgroups: alt.tv.homicide

In <4kur1a$7ja@news.voicenet.com> scoats@voicenet.com writes:

> Do you agree with the actor played Crossetti (Jon Polillo?)

Actually, that's classically trained thespian Ron Palillo, formerly of _Welcome Back, Kotter_. I know, I know, Crosetti didn't look much like Horschak, but don't let that fool you. After finding himself typecast and relegated to one-episode parts on shows like _The Love Boat_, Ron drifted from bit part to bit part, eventually finding his career washed up on the shore when he found he only rated a 15 second part as a fisherman on _Murder, She Wrote_. In his 1993 memoir, _Oooh! Oooh Oooh! Buy this Book!_, he wrote that he realized that, "When you can't get more than 15 seconds on a show crammed full of has-been television actors from the 70s and 80s, it's time to say to yourself, 'Self, my career's in the toilet.'"

Palillo soon decided that the only way to make a comeback in this country was to undergo radical cosmetic surgery. Realizing that, although he certainly had the dramatic range, his voice would hold him back from serious consideration as a leading man, he decided his future was in older, pudgy, non-threatening character roles. As he says in his book, "Ernest Borgnine parts." The major drawback was that a generation of twenty- and thirty-somethings felt alienated by his rejection of his past, and he found himself unwelcome at "KotterCon '89."

Still not finding roles, and finding himself cut off from his past, Palillo entered a dark period, which he refers to as his "dark period." Just when all seemed lost and he was about to open an insurance agency in Ames, Iowa, he finally found a fresh start as part of The Royal Shakespeare Company. He thrilled audiences with his epic portrayal of Trinculo in _The Tempest_. He soon lost favor with the company, however, when he heavily backed former _Kotter_ co-star Robert Heyges for the next production of _Hamlet_. Heyges gave a performance that was adequate, but most audiences were put off by the way he would end long speeches with the phrase, "Signed, Hamlet's mother."

Palillo and Heyges returned in disgrace to the U.S., but Executive Producer Barry Levinson's eye had been caught by Ron's reviews while he was in London scouting locations for the European version of _Diner_, which will be called _Pub_ (coming soon to a theater near you) (if you're in Europe). Palillo was hired to play the part of Crosetti, and the rest is history. The trademark Ron Palillo laugh can still be heard in the background of certain scenes.

> who said he left the show because the quality had dropped
> between the first and second seasons?

I hardly think that a guy who played Horschak for all those years, spouting lines like, "Up your nose with a rubber hose" is qualified to diss the quality of _Homicide_. Do you?

HTH.

Subject: Re: Each new show a special event?
From: CROSSD@SCORPION.AG.UIUC.EDU (David Cross)
Date: 1996/04/16
Newsgroups: alt.tv.homicide

In <Pine.Sola.3.91.960416150945.368C-100000@ux5.cso.uiuc.edu> tnokken@ux5.cso.uiuc.edu writes:

> > I hardly think that a guy who played Horschak for all those years, spouting
> > lines like, "Up your nose with a rubber hose" is qualified to diss the
> > quality of _Homicide_. Do you?
>
> You are confusing Horschack with Freddy Washington -- it was Freddy with
> the up your... bit.

While you are correct that Horschak was the more quiet, introspective sweathog - the thinking-man's sweathog, if you will - he did on rare occasions lay someone low with the aforementioned bon mot. I'm fairly sure that a clip of one such occasion appears on the collection, _The Best of Ron Palillo_, but I don't happen to have it here... handy.

> As for Horschack on HLOTS -- it might be interesting. I could see him
> playing some neurotic street informant Kellerman dug up from his days in
> arson.
>
> A stretch, but one that's not all that far off.

Come on. Next you'll be saying that John Travolta will be able to overcome his typecasting and be successful in films.

On to Part 3

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