WELCOME TO THE MINI-FAQ FOR ALT.TV.HOMICIDE Revised 9/12/97 *** DISCLAIMER: This document is offered 'as is,' without apologies, with the expectation you will assist me in its construction by pointing out any errors you find. Enjoy! CONTENTS 1.0.....Introduction, History, and Definitions 2.0.....Rules of the newsgroup 3.0.....FAQ (Frequently Asked Questions) 3.1.....Homicide: Life on the Street (and what's a red-ball?) 3.2.....I heard it was based on a book? 3.3.....What is "the Board," and how do you read it? 3.4.....The Command Structure of the Baltimore PD 3.5.....Who's who (Actors, characters, and real people) 3.6.....How to tell the main characters apart. 3.7.....Major points/characters from previous seasons. 3.8.....H:LotS resources on the Web and Internet. 3.9.....Upcoming episodes and why the promo titles are different! 3.10.....The Music. 3.11.....alt.tv.homicide in-jokes and secrets. 3.12.....An unadorned episode list for all four seasons. 3.13.....What the #@$%# is the deal with H:LotS getting no Emmy? 3.14.....So you want to be an extra on Homicide... 4.0.....Suggestions (a few words to the wise) 1.0.....INTRODUCTION, HISTORY, AND DEFINITIONS Homicide: Life on the Street (Commonly known as "H:LotS) premiered in January of 1993, after the Super Bowl. This newsgroup (alt.tv.homicide, or ATH/a.t.h.) was formed in November of 1994, and is dedicated to discussion, study, and thoughtful exchanges of commentary that are (hopefully) (at least) tangentially related to the TV show. The amount of time given messages remain in the newsgroup depends on the protocols set by your individual Internet providers; so it will vary from provider to provider. This "Newbie FAQ" (FAQ being a ubiquitous Internet acronym for _F_frequently _A_sked _Q_uestions; there is a FAQ kept for almost every subject, newsgroup, and sub-interest on the planet) is designed to be an introduction to this newsgroup, whether you are brand new to the Internet or an old hand at surfing. Contained herein are answers to some of the frequently asked questions, and some simple suggestions, offered to allow you to include yourself in the best damn newsgroup on the Internet with a minimum of pain and discomfort (to the rest of us). With apologies to Vince (who keeps the _real_ FAQ, see section 3.8). 2.0.....RULES What, are you kidding? This is an unmoderated alt. newsgroup; there are no rules. Having said that, however, let me offer a strong word of caution; it is expected of you, the individual, to be responsible enough to recognize that you are a complete stranger to whatever group you chance upon. And frankly, you will continue to be a stranger to the group, until you read it. I'm not making this up; go read the accompanying help and instruction documents that come with your newsgroup reader. You are expected to read (without posting!) a newsgroup for at least two weeks before you write word one to it. Few things are more pathetic (and, in many cases, annoying and cluttering) than the attempts of someone brand new to the group. The advice is this; get a feel for the rhythm of the posts, before you add one of your own. Think of it as becoming "fluent" in another culture. You will then be better able to communicate that burning revelation you've had about the show, or the amazing experience you've undergone as a result of it. It will still be just as interesting to us in 14 days as it would be now. More so, because you won't sound...well...like a complete neophyte. You will find that alt.tv.homicide is (on the whole) one of the most civil newsgroups on the whole Internet. Be a good traveler therein, and leave it as good as (or better than) you found it. 3.0.....FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS I promise you, any question you have _has_ been asked before, so _don't_ waste our time apologizing/hoping your question hasn't been brought up already; it has! But, there is nothing wrong with bringing up the subject again, because new opinions/light/information may be shed and shared the second (or fourth, or thirtieth) time a subject is hashed. So (after reading for two weeks) feel free to ask any questions you want. But, if you are really only in search of some basic info, you will probably find it below. Read on, and learn. 3.1..What is this show about? A squad of homicide detectives in Baltimore, MD struggles to clear the cases that come their way. Most of the cases are homicides (of course) of the garden variety (common and unremarkable). But occasionally, a "red-ball" (a high profile case with the accompanying media coverage, and the department's higher-ups demanding it be closed immediately) lands in their laps. Any red-ball case, even if it's not a murder, gets handled by the homicide unit (because they are the most skilled investigators on the force; yes, that really is how they do it in Baltimore). So they get the police-related shootings, the TV-coverage missing persons cases, and so on, in addition to all the suspicious deaths. The detectives on a given shift of the Homicide department are broken down into partnerships. But the cases (and the responsibility of clearing them) are assigned entirely by chance. Whoever answers the call from dispatch announcing a case becomes the "primary." The primary is ultimately in charge of the entire investigation. If the primary's partner is unavailable (or if the detective in question is partnerless), then the lieutenant or sergeant on duty will usually assign someone else to partner with the primary, just for this case. H:LotS is an ensemble show. In some episodes, the story will concern itself with each character and their respective cases. Some episodes will focus on one partnership, or even one detective, and one particular case they are working. As an aside, there has been much conjecture and debate about the origin of the phrase "red-ball". Following are the two most authoritative (sounding) theories I've yet seen, both contributed by posters on a.t.h. *** FWIW, "Red Ball Express" was the name of a commercial freight firm (which may still exist) that was noted for quick delivery via trucks during the 1930s. During the breakout from Normandy in the summer of 1944 (WWII), "The Red Ball Express" was the nickname given the transportation units that sped supplies from the beachheads and other captured ports to the increasingly distant fighting units. *** I do believe that a red ball was originally a railroading expression; a redball had the priority right of way on the tracks. In other cities these type cases are sometimes called 'heaters' (it tends to get very warm) or apes (_A_cute _P_olitical _E_mergencies). 3.2..What about the book it's based on? _Homicide: A Year on the Killing Streets_ by David Simon, Ivy Books (published by Ballantine Books), ISBN # 0-8041-0999-0. c 1991 Take this information to a bookseller, and they will be able to order it (probably only in paperback). Or, look for it at a used bookstore; many booksellers are now reporting this as being out of print, so a used copy may be the only one you could obtain. Of course, the local library is always a viable option, too. Matt Fuller writes "Put 'www.amazon.com' as a source for this book. I ordered the paperback from them recently with no problem." David Simon wrote it while on a one-year leave of absence from being a reporter for the _Baltimore Sun_, during which he tagged along as an observer of all things dealing with the Baltimore Police Department's Homicide squads. It is an exceptional book, and will increase your appreciation of the series if you read it. Also, of note, is the fact that David Simon is no longer a reporter, but has now found work as a screenwriter and consultant for (among other shows) Homicide: Life on the Street. His name has also graced shows such as NYPD Blue; but it was an exceptional episode, so we don't hold it against him... A related book may also be of interest, _Practical Homicide Investigation: Tactics, Procedures and Forensic Techniques_. 2nd Ed. Vernon J. Geberth. 1992. Reprint ed. 47.95. 0-8493-9507-0, HV8079. There are several quotes of note drawn from it, like "We work for God" and "We speak for those who can no longer speak for themselves". 3.3..What's the deal with that board? What do the colors mean? The Board is where the names of each case handled by Homicide are written, in either black, red, or blue. An important distinction should be made between fact and fiction here. In the "real" world of Baltimore Homicide, the way the board is kept significantly differs from how it is kept on _Homicide: Life on the Street_. On H:LotS, the board is a two-sided dry-erase marker board, with one shift per side. The side we see encompasses Lt. Giardello's squad, whose work we witness each week during the show. It is divided into columns, with the name of each detective at the top of each column. Written below each detective's name are the last names of each victim whose death the detective is investigating, and the case number assigned to the investigation; at the bottom of each column is a short list of the detective's cases from the previous calendar year that remain open. The numbers are assigned on an ordinal basis; the first case of the year was number #001, the next #002, etc. On the far right of the board, is a list of names for which warrants have been issued. In the real world, the board is made of acetate covered paper, (rather than a rotating plastic board which is used on the TV show), and displays the status of all cases being worked by _both_ shifts. It is divided in half, with the name of each shift's Lieutenant at the top of each half. The halves are divided into three columns (making a total of six columns), and at the top of each column (underneath their respective Lieutenant's name) are the names of the sergeants in charge of each of the six squads. The names of the victims are listed in these columns, according to the squad of the investigating detective. To the left of each name is the case number. To the right are the initials of the investigating detectives. If a warrant has been issued, and no arrest made, the letter W is written (in parentheses) also. At the bottom of the column, cases from previous years that are closed this year are written. The color of the victims' names represent the status of the respective investigations. A victim's name in black means that the case has been closed (an arrest has been made, and a suspect charged). If the victim's name is in red, then the case is "open" and uncleared, and the investigation is ongoing. A name written in blue has specific meaning in the real world, but what it means on H:LotS is still being debated. In the real world, a blue name denotes a case that remained open from previous years, but has been closed this year. Apparently, on H:LotS, a case which has been reopened from previous years goes on the board in blue, whether it's cleared or not. Ultimately, the board's significance is in its use and regard as a touchstone of the shift's performance. Anyone can look at the board and know who is closing cases. And who is not. 3.4..The Command structure of the Baltimore City Police Department and the Homicide Unit defined. The following information pertains to the command and rank structure as it existed when David Simon wrote his book. It is also the structure which H:LotS has followed with reasonable faithfulness. It is _not_ the current structure of the Baltimore PD; this was changed recently by a new Commisioner, transplanted from California. Anyway, the BPD rank structure, with titles, uniform insignias, is as follows: Commisioner: 4 Stars (General) Deputy Commisioner: 2 Stars (Major General) Chief: Eagle (Full Colonel) Deputy Chief: Silver Oak leaf (Lieutenant Colonel) District or Section Commander: Gold Oak leaf (Major) Asst. District or Unit Commander: Two Silver Bars (Captain) Shift Commander: 1 Silver Bar (Lieutenant) Squad Supervisor: 3 Chevrons (Sergeant) Police Officer or Detective: N/A For the Homicide detectives, the chain of command does not include all of the above offices. Listed below, from the commisioner to the detective, is the structure of command, and the TV characters who play the roles. Commisioner- Deputy Commisioner- Operations Bureau (referred to as "The Deputy") Colonel- Chief of Detectives Barnfather Captain- CO/Crimes against Persons Section Gaffney (Homicide, Rape, Robbery) Lieutenant- Shift Commander Giardello Sergeant- Squad supervisor Howard Detective- 3.5..What are the character's names? Do they correlate with anyone from the book? How are their names pronounced? Correlations are a composite of opinions proffered by several concerned fans; they are not doctrinal or canonical in any way. Several of the TV characters have behaved like or have quoted lines from more than one real homicide detective from the book. And for the purists, please note, that this list is alphabetical by actors, not ranked by status. CHARACTER ACTOR POSSIBLE CORRELATION Callie Thorne Laura Ballard < none > John Munch Richard Belzer Brown/Landsman/James Frank Pembleton Andre Braugher Edgerton Mike Kellerman Reed Diamond Keller Dr. Julianna Cox, CME Michelle Forbes < none > Stuart Gharty Peter Gerety < none > Meldrick Lewis Clark Johnson Waltemeyer/Brown Al Giardello (G or Gee) Yaphet Kotto D'Addario Tim Bayliss Kyle Secor Pellegrini Paul Falsone Jon Seda < none > (from former seasons) Beauregard Felton Daniel Baldwin Kincaid/Waltemeyer Stanley Bolander Ned Beatty Worden Megan Russert Isabella Hofmann < none > Kay Howard Melissa Leo Garvey J.H. Brodie Max Perlich David Simon Steve Crosetti Jon Polito McLarney (semi-regulars) Mary Whelan-Pembleton Ami Brabson < none > Lt. Jasper Gary D'Addario Luther Mahoney Erik Todd Dellmus < none > Ed Danvers A.D.A. Zeljko Ivanek ASA Lawrence Doan Terri Stivers Toni Lewis < none > Barnfather Clayton LeBouef < none > Roger Gaffney Walt MacPherson < none > Dr. Alyssa Dyer, M.E. Harlee McBride < none > Dr. Scheiner, M.E. Ralph Tabakin < none > Judy Judy Thorton < none > Darrin Russom, P.A. Michael S. Willis < none > Giardello's nickname has been spelled both ways. Braugher rhymes with "shower" Secor is pronounced "see-kor" Belzer is pronounced "bell-zer" Yaphet Kotto is pronounced "yaff-et coat-oh" 3.6..Who's who, or how to tell the characters apart. Det. Callie Thorne; white, female, black hair. Unkown quantity, being added in beginning of sixth season. Old-timers very suspicious. Played by Laura Ballard. Det. John Munch; Black hair, white, skinny, divorced multiple times, been on the Homicide squad for a long time. Co-owns a bar with detectives Meldrick Lewis and Tim Bayliss. Is an unrepentant child of the drug-culture sixties and appears to be a "lapsed Jew". Played by Richard Belzer. Det. Frank Pembleton; Short hair (and has been shaved bald in seasons past), black, recently seperated (from wife, Mary), one daughter (Olivia, born May 1996). He's been with Homicide a long time and is very intense about work. Suffered a stroke in the fourth season finale'. Recently reconciled with his again-pregnant wife, Mary Whelan-Pembleton. Partners with Tim Bayliss. Played by Andre Braugher. Det. Mike Kellerman; blonde curly hair, white, divorced, transferred to Homicide in episode two of season four from Arson. Witty, smart, kind of a wise-guy, comes from working-class background. Killed murder suspect Luther Mahoney in cold blood near end of season five. On and off-again drunk and lover of Dr. Cox. Lives on a boat. Partners with Det. Meldrick Lewis. Played by Reed Diamond. Dr. Julianna Cox; white, female, black hair. She's the Chief Medical Examiner (CME) for Baltimore. Her father died in Season Five, she has shown rash judgement in her personal life, a tendency towards excess in alcohol, and cool professionalism in her work. Played by Michelle Forbes. Det. Stuart Gharty; white, older guy. Transferred in from Internal Affairs beginning of Season six. Was formerly a patrolman who was investigated by Det. Russert for responding slowly to a shooting in a high-rise, low-income housing project. Played by Peter Gerety. Det. Meldrick Lewis; light-skinned black man with short hair, often wears a hat (rakeishly), been in Homicide unit for more than five years. Born and raised in a Baltimore tenement, he has an older brother who is a permanant resident of a mental ward. Co-owns _The Waterfront_ (the bar) with Munch and Bayliss. Played by Clark Johnson. Lieutenant Al Giardello; large, very dark black man, three children (all grown and moved away), is the Lieutenant for the squad of detectives the series focuses on. Has been passed over for a deserved promotion at least three times we know of. Often refers to his Sicilian ancestors. Played by Yaphet Kotto. Det. Tim Bayliss; white guy, single, brown hair. Used to be on the QRT (the _Q_uick _R_esponse _T_eam; very like SWAT) and the Mayor's Security Detail. Has taken to caring for a very sick Uncle, who had also abused Bayliss as a child. Co-owns the bar with Munch and Lewis. Partners with Pembleton. Played by Kyle Secor. Det. Paul Falsone; appears Latino and single. Transferring into Homicide at the beginning of season six from auto. Played by Jon Seda. 3.7..Synopsis of major story elements and characters from former seasons. A total of five detectives have left the show since it began, four original detectives, and one who had arrived in season three. Steve Crosetti was a character for only the first two seasons, was played by Jon Polito, and partnered with Meldrick Lewis. He was a short, semi-bald, divorced man who pursued a number of conspiracy theories in his spare time. The character committed suicide between the second and third seasons, and Lewis was without a partner for over a year. Two other characters, Beau Felton and Stanley Bolander, were both suspended immediately before the beginning of the fourth season, for lewd and drunken behavior at a convention (Nudity and guns was alluded to). The reason for their departure rests in decisions made by the actors playing them. Beau was partners with Kay Howard, and had a rocky marriage. At one point, his wife threw him out, and he commenced an affair with the (then) Lieutenant of the other shift, Megan Russert (see below for more info on Russert's character) Beau's wife finally took him back, but ended up leaving him, taking the kids, and disappearing. Beau was killed off in the two-part 5th season ending episode. He was played by Daniel Baldwin. Stanley Bolander ("Big Man") was Munch's partner, and was broadly considered to be the most experienced, and certainly one of the best, Homicide detectives in Baltimore. Munch has been fixated on Stan's date of return, but the character of Bolander has been avoiding the Homicide crew, even his ex-partner, and has apparently retired. Played by Ned Beatty. The character of Megan Russert was introduced in the beginning of season three as the Lieutenant of the other shift. After having an affair with Beau, she was promoted to the position of Captain (a promotion it is widely held which should have gone to G). She was later demoted a record three levels, back to detective, and back in G's Homicide squad. The actress who played Russert, Isabella Hofmann, became pregnant by real-life beau (heh) Daniel Baldwin, and was written out of the fifth season except for the final two-part episode. Detective Kay Howard was legendary in Homicide for her 100% closure rate. In the beginning of Season Four, she was promoted to Sergeant, and kind of stagnated, doing very little actual detective work, until the beginning of Season Six finds her transferred to (I believe) missing persons. 3.8..H:LotS resources on the Web and Internet. How's this for one-stop convenience? Go to this site, and Dave will spin you off into the ether to _all_ the latest and greatest Homicide-themed sites out there: http://members.aol.com/hlotslinks 3.9..What's the deal with the episode titles? They're listed one way in the TV Guide, and then another way on the promos! It's like this: Baltimore Pictures makes an episode of H:LotS, and names it. This name is the "official" episode title, the one that shows up in your TV Guide or newspaper, and is the title it is appropriate to refer to a specific episode by. Once the episode is finished, it is for all intents and purposes given to NBC. They decide when to air it (which has lead to a plethora of "out-of-order" episodes, but that's another issue entirely). When the episode is close to airing, the NBC promotions department puts together a promotional package for it, including the 20- or 30-second commercials for it that you see during _ER_ or _Law and Order_. As part of the promotional effort, a "promo title" is often concocted to make the upcoming epsiode more attractive to viewers unfamiliar with H:LotS. It has nothing to do with the "episode title." 3.10.Who picks the songs? Is there a CD out, or in the works? Diane Gilcreast writes "The Homicide theme is taken from "Track 11" on the CD "Red, Soft, and Endless" by Jens Fischer. As for the CD/soundtrack, no and no. And I doubt it's forthcoming, ever. Yes, it'd be _really_ cool, but be realistic; H:LotS is not the determined pop-culture vehicle that _Miami Vice_ was, and doesn't have the camp/hipness of _The X-Files_ (though there have been some pretty lame TV shows with their own soundtrack albums lately, so you never know..._Homicide_ certainly deserves it far more than most). There have been rumors to the effect that a soundtrack is being considered, and it's an accepted past-time on a.t.h. to pine for it, but I wouldn't hold my breath. But be creative (like schlock) and put together your own "fantasy soundtrack", then offer it to the rest of us. The songs are variously picked by the producers, the editors, and even the writers. It's an eclectic thing. http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/9086/music.html is Schlock's music list at Katie Conley's site, and has been compiled through the 1/3/97 "The Documentary" episode. NBC has a list at http://www.nbc.com/homicide/music/index.html which at present is minus the music of the first season, and is overall sketchy, but does provide a link to a special H:LotS "Rhythm of the Street" music site at CD World [http://cdworld.com/cgi-bin/welcome?via=homicide if you wish to go direct] where you can order CDs or cassettes. 3.11.A list of alt.tv.homicide in-jokes, or "how to appear instantly cool on a.t.h" "The best damn ________." Whenever offering a compliment, especially one directed at the show itself, that's the superlative to use. For example, "H:LotS is really cool" is a pleasant compliment, but not how it's done by the long-tooths. The phrase "the best damn show on television" first appeared on the "NYPD Blue" fanboy website of Alan Sepinwall, TV columnist for The New Jersey Star-Ledger, and of course referred to that show. Someone else hijacked it to Homicide and most everyone in alt.tv.homicide piled-on to make the phrase Our Very Own. Later there were media references saying that the show's fans referred to it as "the best damn show on television," and the appropriation became complete. "My $.11" This is as opposed to the "my two cents" or "my $.02" phrases which indicate someone is just offering a non-professional opinion. The eleven cents figure comes from an H:LotS episode wherein Bayliss holds up a conveniance store clerk because Bayliss is 11 cents short, and the clerk won't cut him a break. "_______(Insert other police-themed show) really sucks!" For some reason, many H:LotS fans feel compelled to deride and lambast all the other "cop" shows currently airing, _especially_ NYPD Blue ("the Butt show" as it is know with affection). While this is a mystery to me, the practice of denigrating other police series is none-the-less common; though it seems to be more prevalent among the less-mature fans. "Faffamem?" This is NBC insider-speak for words or phrases spoken by actors that are muddled and unintelligible. It is an accepted sport on a.t.h. to list the faffamems that occur during a given episode, and then provide guesses as to what was really said. The phrase has it's linguistic roots in an experience that happened to at the NBC promotions department many moons ago. "I miss __________", or "I wish they'd bring back/have more of ______". Insert the phrase lumpy characters (people who have a less than model-perfect physique, like Daniel Baldwin, Jon Polito, or the appropriately nick-named Ned "Big Man" Beatty). Or conversation episodes (like Night of the Dead Living, wherein there is no action, just talking). These phrases bespeak a general longing for how H:LotS was in the first two seasons. 3.12.A brief episode list. (Each rating point represents 970,000 households.) Season One Prod. # Date Rating Title ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 101 01/31/93 18.8 "Gone for Goode" 102 02/03/93 15.3 "Ghost of a Chance" 104 02/10/93 10.6 "Son of a Gun" 105 02/24/93 13.4 "A Shot in the Dark" 106 03/03/93 11.3 "Three Men and Adena" 107 03/10/93 13.0 "The Dog and Pony Show" 108 03/17/93 10.3 "And the Rockets' Dead Glare" 109 03/24/93 11.0 "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" 103 03/31/93 10.2 "Night of the Dead Living" Season Two Prod. # Date Rating Title ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 204 01/06/94 26.1 "Bop Gun" 201 01/13/94 19.1 "See No Evil" 202 01/20/94 16.0 "Black and Blue" 203 01/27/94 17.2 "A Many Splendored Thing" Season 3 Prod. # Date Rating Title ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 301 10/14/94 17.2 "Nearer My God to Thee" 302 10/21/94 11.5 "Fits Like a Glove" 303 10/28/94 11.4 "Extreme Unction" 305 11/11/94 9.7 "Model Citizen" 306 11/18/94 9.7 "Happy to Be Here" 304 12/02/94 10.7 "Crosetti" 307 12/09/94 10.6 "The Last of the Watermen" 308 12/16/94 11.4 "All Through the House" 310 01/06/95 13.5 "Every Mother's Son" 311 01/13/95 12.7 "Cradle to Grave" 312 01/20/95 11.9 "Partners" 313 01/27/95 14.6 "The City that Bleeds" 314 02/03/95 9.3 "Dead End" 315 02/10/95 10.3 "End Game" 316 02/24/95 9.3 "Law and Disorder" 317 03/03/95 9.3 "The Old and the Dead" 318 04/14/95 8.2 "In Search of Crimes Past" 309 04/21/95 8.3 "Nothing Personal" 319 04/28/95 8.3 "Colors" 320 05/05/95 8.2 "The Gas Man" Season Four Prod. # Date Rating Title --------------------------------------------------------------------- 401 10/20/95 9.4 "Fire (part 1)" 402 10/27/95 10.3 "Fire (part 2)" 403 11/03/95 9.1 "Autofocus" 407 11/10/95 9.5 "Thrill of the Kill" 406 11/17/95 "Hate Crimes" 404 12/01/95 10.0 "A Doll's Eyes" 405 12/08/95 9.1 "Heartbeat" 408 01/05/96 9.3 "Sniper (part 1)" 409 01/12/96 9.7 "Sniper (part 2)" 412 01/19/96 9.8 "The Hat" 413 02/02/96 "I've Got a Secret" 411 02/09/96 11.7 "For God and Country" (L&O crossover) 414 02/16/96 9.2 "Justice (part 1)" 415 02/23/96 9.4 "Justice (part 2)" 416 03/15/96 10.2 "Stakeout" 417 03/29/96 8.4 "Requiem for Adena" 410 04/05/96 8.1 "Full Moon" 419 04/12/96 7.4 "Scene of the Crime" 418 04/26/96 7.4 "Map of the Heart" 420 05/03/96 7.9 "The Damage Done" 421 05/10/96 8.5 "The Wedding" 422 05/17/96 9.2 "Work Related" (the season finale) Prod. # Date Rating Title ----------------------------------------------------------------------- 501 09/20/96 8.6 "Hostage, part 1" 502 09/27/96 "Hostage, part 2" 503 10/18/96 "Lockdown" 504 10/25/96 "Bad Medicine" 505 11/01/96 "M.E., Myself and I" 506 11/08/96 "White Lies" 507 11/15/96 "Heart of Saturday Night" 508 11/22/96 "True Test" 509 12/06/96 "Control" 510 12/13/96 8.2 "Blood Wedding" 511 01/03/97 "The Documentary" 512 01/10/97 "Betrayal" (Clark Johnson directing) 513 01/17/97 "Have a Conscience" 514 01/24/97 "Diener" (Kyle Secor directing) 515 02/07/97 "Wu's On First" 516 02/14/97 "Valentine's Day" 517 02/28/97 "Kaddish" 518 04/11/97 "Double Blind" 519 04/25/97 "Deception" 520 05/02/97 "Narcissuss" 521 05/09/97 "Partners & Other Strangers" 522 05/16/97 "Strangers & Other Partners" 3.13.What the #@$%# is the deal with H:LotS getting no Emmy? Yes, H:LotS has been woefully, even criminally overlooked by the awarders of the Emmys, from the very beginning. It has won a few, but they seem to be only after-thoughts; a pittance, thrown as trinkets when the lofty accolades it obviously deserves have gone instead to churlish pretenders to the throne. There are several theories about why this is so. First of all, H:LotS is filmed entirely in Baltimore, which (for those of you who are geographically impaired) is _nowhere_ near Hollywood. This results in; no jobs associated with the show going to people who work in CA, and; lots of Hollywood insider types exerting a ridiculous geocentric prejudice that if it ain't made in Hollywood, it ain't good. Personally, I think this is probably the greatest reason that H:LotS has been so willfully snubbed. I also think the fact that H:LotS is locally done, is also one of it's greastest strengths; it gives it a flavor that cannot be redone in a remote studio. The second theory is a bit more paranoid, but never-the-less has merit; it may be more right than the first. Homicide is one of the few shows on the tube that seamlessly interweaves so many characters of more than one race. I hope, in my heart, that this not a cause for awarding groups to avoid bestowing the nominations and awards it deserves. But I also know, in my heart, that greater awards have been denied for more petty, biased reasons. A third theory, while being highly biased and emotional, is quite satisfying to promote; that the nominating body is (as our beloved Gaffney so ineloquently put it) gimped in the head. 3.14....So you want to be an extra on _Homicide: Life on the Streets_... Send a picture (no, I don't know what size, or if needs to be color or black and white. Nor do I know how many poses they want.) and a short letter explaining your intentions (ie, "PLEASE LET ME BE ON HOMICIDE OR I'M GONNA DIE!") to either (heck, I've seen snapshots; better try both) of the following addresses. BALDY MORE Casting More Entertainment, Inc. PO Box 274 Sunshine Kingsville, MD 21087 Pat Moran; Casting/HOMICIDE 1701 Thames Street Baltimore, MD 21213 4.0.....SUGGESTIONS Now, these are just suggestions, so feel free to violate them with wild abandon. Heed them, however, and I promise your posts will look better, and be more interesting. Unless the goal _is_ to look like a gomer... Suggestion 1, be very careful with flames, accusations and questions of a fellow poster's "authority." We have real cops (including Homicide detectives), and real H:LotS personnel who comment here with frequency. And these people don't always identify themselves in every post; they are "known" to the rest of us, simply by past contact. So if you disagree with a post (or someone disagrees with you), don't embarrass yourself by accusing them of being stupid and unknowing on the subject, when in fact it's quite possible that yes, they really _do_ that for a living! Suggestion 2, it isn't my intention to hurt anyone's feelings, but let me disabuse you of a prevalent myth; quoting _anything_ at length and verbatim, in every circumstance except a stage-style performance, is tacky, stupid, and nerdy. This includes song lyrics (especially if they are either pseudo-romantic or pseudo-angst-ridden), Monty Python movies (especially _The Holy Grail_) and comedic routines (especially if you laugh at the punch lines before anyone else). Instantly pegs you as juvenile. It's much cooler to quote a few lines, and let your comrades fill in the blanks in their minds; allusions beat out recitations every time. Suggestion 3, good grief it's been weeks; go buy someone flowers! Suggestion 4, confine "me too! me too!" responses to private email. It is a wonderful thing, to agree with something or someone completely. It is a boring and boorish thing, to force the rest of the world to listen to you nodding your head. If you like what is said, but have nothing to add, then just respond to the original poster (via private email) and say so; no need to drag the rest of us into it. And you'll find that one of the other great pleasures of doing this is you can strike up wonderful conversations with others like yourself. Suggestion 5, DON'T POST USING ALL CAPITALS, unless you want to look like a tantrumming three-year-old. dont leave out punctuation and such unles u wanna look rilly juvuhnile. Suggestion 6, when you _do_ post a response, and you need to include some of the original post as a reference, please, please, please, pleasepleasepleaseplease edit the original post by deleting ALL of the post that does not apply to your response. Don't know how to edit specific lines or passages? Then ASK your sysop; that's what they are paid for. It is the hallmark of hurried (and rude) responders to include an eight page original post, in order to respond to just one paragraph (or to just say "me too!). A good rule of thumb, in fact, is to _try_ to keep your posts (and responses) to less than one page in length. Makes for easier digestion on our part, and makes your post seem _much_ less cluttered. As a corollary to this, do NOT include massive sigs on posts that are less than a couple of pages. You WILL post here again, so only include the sig (if it's more than three lines) on posts that are already long. Internet tradition is that sigs be four lines or less, anyway. Violation of this correlary is a dead give-away that the violator is a beginner. Suggestion 7, regarding spoiler information; feel free to post information which may "spoil" upcoming episodes (the sources for spoilers are legion; trade magazines, interviews, the NBC web-site, educated guesses on your part, etc). A spoiler is any piece of information, which when read, will give away or "spoil" some aspect of a particular upcoming episode (or episodes). You know, who gets the case, if the suspect is guilty, who the guest star will be, particular lines/scenes; these are spoilers. BUT; --*BUT*-- mark the post as a spoiler at the beginning (by writing the word "SPOILER" on the subject line AND the first line of your post. And then leave an entire page blank before revealing whatever it is you have to relate (this is called "spoiler space"). It is common courtesy to allow others the choice of whether or not to share in your reading-the-last-chapter-first. Suggestion 8, Be kind. It's free, and solves more problems than blustering. Don't believe me? Think through the last dozen or so confrontations you were involved in, and count how many were solved (not ended; solved) by escalation of dispute. Suggestion 9, Do *NOT* reply to spam/cross-posted threads (unless you have a really creative way to bend it's original generic message to the theme of the group; even then, delete all the other groups from the header). Think about it for a minute. If you reply to a post that was sent to dozens of newsgroups.....your reply will _also_ go to those dozens of newsgroups. And you will be qualified for pillorying by the denizens of those dozens of newsgroups. Additionally, when dimrods in the other newsgroups respond to _your_ half-wit post, we (in alt.tv.homicide) will be forced to wade through them as well; a complete waste of Internet bandwidth, and of particular irritation to those among us who _pay_ for every minute of Internet time. Remember what your Mom told you, about ignoring your little brother and he'd go away? That is the best policy here. If you must respond, then just email the original author (or their sysop). Don't know how? Then ask someone else. *** I'm retiring from the FAQ business while I am emeshed in Law School studies, so this will be my only version until after Season Six is well and over. Feel free to distribute it, and only email me if there is a specific correction you feel should be made. The usual disclaimers (not affiliated with blahblah, feel free to distribute blahblah, any similarity blahblah) go here. And thanks to Jim King, Valkyry, Sergeant Steve, Michaela Schlocker, Joe Clark, Dave Locke, Steve Auerweck, and Cathy Brady for wise and gracious help in the correction and editing of this document. May you live in interesting times. -- John Landbeck